Sometimes… I Feel Jealous: Blogging Envy

Blogging envy is something that’s been bugging me ever since I started this new blog, and really — I just need some place to vent, which is a warning to you that this post might get ranty. Bear with me!

But what do you mean by “blogging envy”?

Before you think that I’m talking about book hauls and stuff, let me clarify: this post isn’t about that. I mean, I do get envious whenever I see someone receiving a pile of ARCs I really want to read, but it’s the good kind of jealousy, you know? The kind of jealousy that will probably not do any harm except to my pocket, when I decide to buy a book (or ten).

No, this blogging envy is about comments.

I get that I’m not a very popular blogger, and I am so, so grateful and thankful to the people who have been leaving comments on my posts — especially the half-assed ones where nothing make sense! — but there’s this part in me that gets jealous whenever I see someone whom I think is a very good blogger friend, comment on someone’s blog, but not on mine. And when that happens, this happens:


… only I don’t look as happy as that, ha

I start to panic, and can’t help but wonder: am I doing something wrong? Are my posts just not interesting enough? But most of the time, I’m able to push these thoughts away and focus on the people who DID comment, who DID take the time to stop by. And I just want to say, those of you who have done that? You’re wonderful.

That’s not all, though. There have been several instances when I tried to reach out to a blogger by leaving comment after comment on their posts, but they never respond. No reply, no “return-the-favor” visit — and I get that you may be busy. I’m busy most of the time, too, which is why I return comments extremely late. But then I realize that that blogger has commented on other people’s posts, and not mine. I don’t want to point fingers here, but this leads me back to square one.

What is it, exactly, that I’m doing wrong?!

Is it that I sound so unbelievably stupid in some of my posts (I don’t doubt that sometimes, ha!), or is it because I said something wrong and they’d rather not leave a comment?

I just can’t wrap my head around it! Maybe I’m being selfish for thinking that the blogosphere revolves around me, or maybe I’m being calculative, because I’ve been known for that bad trait!But enough about me.

[EDIT: I’ve also realized that I might  have done this unknowingly a couple of times, and if I have ever done that to you, I want to apologize! I promise you I’m trying my very hardest to respond and return comments.]

What about you?

Do you ever feel jealousy of this kind, or am I the only one? Has this ever happened to you? And if you have any answers on why people don’t respond, feel free to share them, because I’m literally dying to know! Let me tell you that I love you all for leaving comments. I cherish them GREATLY. Here, have some cakes and butterbeer and s’mores to show you guys my appreciation. ❤

This post is linked up on Let’s Discuss, hosted by Oh, Chrys! and The Fiction Conniption


52 thoughts on “Sometimes… I Feel Jealous: Blogging Envy

  1. I tend to get more bursts of ARC envy then commenting envy but the same things happen to me too. We take the time to leave comments and we don’t get a thank you! It sucks but we need to be respectful of other people’s way of doing something. Trust me, I always feel like my posts aren’t enough and so when I do get comments, I’m happy (and surprised) for hours. Don’t worry about your own posts, they’re all so interesting and unique! 🙂

  2. MEG I GET WHAT YOU MEAN! Same as Shelly, I tend to be jealous about book hauls and ARCs. Like, when I see people can get so many awesome books in a week, I usually feel like world is unfair cause chances are, those books won’t be published in my country and I have no choice other than to buy them online.

    But to be honest, I have experienced the same issue as you countless times. Some people started to leave comments regularly on my posts and then all of a sudden, they don’t comment anymore and whenever I see their comments on other blogs…well, I can’t help but to wonder why they no longer comment on my blog. >< I do appreciate every comment I get, I will try to comment back on their posts but sometimes due to my limited amount of free time, I can't just return the favor to every blog out there. But I do notice some people who leave comments regularly so I kinda…prioritize stopping by their blogs.

    • Oh, the woes of being an international blogger. 😦 Everything is in the US!

      Some people started to leave comments regularly on my posts and then all of a sudden, they don’t comment anymore” — This one has happened to me so many times! I feel kind of hurt, like you, but then I comfort myself into thinking that I didn’t really like their comments anyway. But that’s a lie, because I value each and every comment I receive. *heavy sigh* Yep, I prioritize the blogs who comment on my posts frequently, and those who are my absolute favorites.

  3. No way do you ever sound stupid! Your posts are positively coherent which is why your blog is wonderful! (And you’re friendly too so more cookie points for ya!) I know what you mean when you say you envy comments on other blogs. I’ve felt ignored several times and while I don’t at all feel like my posts are good enough to get so many comments, I just wanna know there are actual people who are reading my posts. 😦

  4. I’ve been pretty lousy with comments lately! I usually do do return visits/reply to as many as I can, but I’ve been falling behind for the last couple of weeks. Your posts are ALWAYS interesting, Meg! I’ve been terrible at stopping by recently, but I promise it’s not because of you. ❤ But hmm. You've got me thinking. I think the only times I'm less likely to comment on a post is when I KNOW I won't get a reply or any sort of interaction from that blogger (because what's the point?). I still post my thoughts if I think I have something I really want to say, but otherwise, I just tend to read the post and leave. With friends, it's different. I like being able to interact through commenting. 🙂

    • Sam, if you think this post is directed to you, get that thought out of your mind immediately! I totally understand that people may be busy, so those people automatically get a free pass from me. 😉 So it’s okay if you can’t stop by as frequently as you like, because any and all comments you leave, whenever, are always much appreciated. ❤

      I think that's what I do, too. If I remember, sometimes I even go back to blogs to check for replies! Thanks for your input, hon!

  5. I’ve had the same thing happen to me but I do it too so I kinda get why. Well in my case at least. Especially when it comes to your blog. You see, I go on commenting rounds exactly an hour before you and some others normally post for the day so when I do visit your blog, your blog has yesterday’s latest post at the top. And because I love your comments, blog and you in general I just do the rest of my commenting for you and a few other peeps after my shower but sometimes, alas… I forget 😦

    Don’t worry, you’re not normal! You’re weird like all the rest of us book nerds 😉

    Thanks for posting, Megan! <33

    • Oh, Melanie, I wasn’t talking about you at all (if you ever thought that)! I am so grateful that you leave comments on my posts every day, whenever it is. And ugh, time differences suck — all the time, so it’s completely understandable. Whenever people comment on my blog, it’s usually while I’m sleeping, so I can’t respond until after school, which is HOURS later. 😦

      Haha, I embrace my weirdness with honor.

  6. I understand how you feel and can empathize 🙂
    I only get around 2 or more comments on each post I write, and then I see brilliant bloggers who have so many comments (at least 10 and above) and i really do get so green with envy! I spend so much time going around leaving comments, hoping others will come visit me as well, and sometimes when there’s all I hear or see is the sound of silence, like you, I start feeling as if I’m too small to be seen or if I’m doing something wrong!
    But rest assured, Meg, that I’m sure so many of us find it a joy to read your posts, so there’s no need to feel insecure 🙂 I’m glad you take comfort and appreciate all your commenters!
    Maybe those who don’t return are just busy, or have no time to reply, so I’m sure it’s not your fault in that either, but there’s always points for trying!
    Thanks for sharing your honest thoughts! 😀

    • B-B-But I’ve seen you leaving so many comments around the blogosphere! It’s kind of crazy that you still only get 2 comments on average… Yeah, it’s pretty discouraging to see some of our posts getting ignored. Though I guess there’s no way around it — people will comment on whatever they want to comment. :/

      Of course! They put in such time and effort into typing comments, it’s hard not to appreciate them. 🙂 Thank YOU for stopping by, Emily!

  7. Yeah it happens. I’m not as jealous as you are because it happens to me that I only visit some blogs and I don’t have time to visit all but still I try to visit everyone everyday. Don’t worry Meg, your posts are hilarious and I love reading them.
    Great post 😉

  8. Oh man, this is by far the type of blogging envy I suffer from the most. I don’t typically get ARC/haul envy–there was only one ARC that I ever got really jealous about, but then I pull myself from my computer and look at all the books I haven’t read staring at me on my shelf, and I got over it pretty fast. But comment envy is a big one. I tend to get it more looking at blogs that started after I started mine/are around the same size as mine, but get more comments.

    I’m not always the best at commenting, but I’m trying to be better because I know how happy it makes me to receive comments. It gets hard sometimes, especially when I see bloggers who have admitted lower page views/readers/etc get comment after comment. BUT I remind myself that I love how I’m running my blog currently, and that while I don’t get as many comments, I do get really SUBSTANTIAL comments, and I’m grateful for that.

  9. Le gasp. You’re not a popular blogger?! Is you crazy?!

    But I agree, though. There are certain posts that I am desperate to have people comment on. Most of those are either my writings or special discussion posts. Because they’re more personal, you know? Anyway, while I do get comments, greedy me is still not satisfied. Then I see other posts and they have TONS of comments, and yup.. there’s some envy there.

    But for the most part though, I try to remind my self how far I got. On my first three months, there were only a handful of comments on the blog, now I get those per day. You know, I’m grateful and I can’t ask for more.

  10. Meg, this is something I recognize myself in, especially the part: leaving comment after comment and never getting something back from X blogger. In the end (and that is bad.. I know) I stop commenting all together. I just want to see that someone appreciate my comments and yes, I want comment love back. I think we all love getting comments, knowing that your work gets read by people. It’s not strange that you feel this way! But I think you can already see yourself as big blogger. You’ve just started this one and you’re already getting many comments 😀

  11. I try to always reply to comments, but honestly, I haven’t been able to lately. I’m just so insanely busy with school, work, reading, blogging, and it’s just hard to do all that and also reply to comments. In regards to this part of your post:

    But then I realize that that blogger has commented on other people’s posts, and not mine.

    Sometimes I reply to some commenters but not others because some people give me more to reply to than others. For example, if I have 4 comments, 2 of which say they like my review and agree with it, and 2 of which say something similar but then ALSO ask a question, the latter two are giving me more to reply to. I could reply to every single person saying, “Thank you!” or something similar, but when I find myself just saying “Thank you” or “Thanks for stopping by” etc. to like 10 people, I feel like it’s getting repetitive and meaningless since I’m basically saying the same thing to each person. So sometimes I only reply if I actually feel like I have something to say. Like if they asked question, then I’ll reply because I can answer it. Or if they made a really interesting point that I can respond to, then I’ll reply.

    So it’s not that I’m intentionally ignoring certain people, it’s just that I only want to reply if I feel like I have something to say or add. And it goes both ways. I usually won’t comment on someone else’s post if all I have to say is “Great review” because that feels like such a meaningless comment. I only reply if I feel like I genuinely have something to add!

    Great post though! I think we all get a little jealous every once in a while!

  12. Oh, Meg. I never knew you experienced this! After all, you (and Asti) leave the most thoughtful comments on posts all over the blogosphere. I know I am pretty slow with commenting, especially since I moved and we are all sharing a computer. :/

    When I first started blogging, I used to expect return-visits. I can recall commenting on this blog during my first month that I adored almost every day with thorough comments, and not once did the blogger visit me! It was mind-boggling. Then I realized that people do not have to visit my blog in return, and that’s okay. Whether they are tired, lazy, indifferent, or just plain snobby, they have no obligation. I have learnt that return-comments are not a courtesy.

    As for myself, I try my best to check out blogs when its owner shows a heavy interest in mine. The thought that someone can visit my blog and leave something meaningful often is one I greatly appreciate. What I have noticed though is that some bloggers stop commenting if I do not return a visit. It is a very weird practice in my eyes. I want people to comment comfortably and willingly – not out of an impulse (that often leaves halfass comments). Very interesting discussion you got going here!

  13. I can definitely relate to this feeling. I’m not sure its jealousy though so much as feeling left out. I put so much work into my blog (I know we all do!) And I see the pageviews but little to no comments. So that leaves me wondering whether people start reading and don’t like it so disappear, or do they just not like leaving comments. I don’t know which it is.

    But then from the point of view of a commenter…I don’t leave a comment on every post I read. Sometimes I’m reading on the go and don’t have time to leave a comment but try and remember to go back later (I’ve been using Pocket to save posts for later and this is helping me a little), sometimes though it can take me days to go back and leave a comment.

    I’m also guilty of being a late replier to comments made on my own blog, and also visiting the people that leave comments for me. I’m a mom of 2, working full time, and between reading and working on my blog I just feel like I don’t have enough time to visit and comment on every blog that I should do. I know I’m not obligated to visit in return, but I want to spread the love and also connect with other bloggers.

    My blog is only 6 months old so I guess I’m still trying to find my rhythm and being able to fit EVERYTHING in.

    Anyway…to the point…I wanted you to know you are not alone in feeling a tad jealous of the comments others receive. BUT I don’t necessarily think bloggers intentionally skip your blog when leaving comments. They probably still read it (I often read yours) but may not always have the time to comment (like me, I’m pretty sure this is one of my first comments on your blog but today I’m at my computer, not my phone so it’s easier to leave a more thought out comment).

  14. I so totally, completely, 100% understand what you mean. I agree with everything you have said. And I have the same kind of envy and blogging insecurities as you! There’s one blog in particular that comes to mind that I followed via email and I loved this blog and I thought I really liked the person behind the blog. So one day I started commenting on said blog, and I commented quite often. Never once did she reply to my comments. Never once did she come to my blog and comment. This blogger who claims to love socializing with other bloggers and who has made many blogger friends. Maybe she’s done and doesn’t want anymore? I don’t know, but it still feels a bit rude to me. I always try to reply or to visit the blogs of the people who took the time to comment on my post. Especially if they are regular commenters! Okay, I have said my piece. And I’m done…I typed this all out on my phone if you can believe it and it took a really long time lol. 🙂

  15. I’ve been there before with taking the time to comment but the blogger NEVER comments back. I think I still follow blogs and comment where that happens. But sometimes, I’ve stopped spending my time commenting. Your blog is one of my favorite ones to follow, so I honestly don’t think it’s about your content. You have really great original posts that make me want to come back and visit 😀 So you have nothing to be jealous about, Meg! People should be jealous of you! P.S. Great gifs this week. Especially that first one!

  16. You make a good point! I’ve never felt like that, ergo, I’ve never given this much thought. I always try to visit as many blogs as possible, but I’m VERY easily distracted (sometimes even by walls), so time just goes by and I realize I’ve done nothing. I usually comment on the blogs I follow on Bloglovin’, but there are also people I follow on Twitter and when I get to Twitter, I’m just wiped out. I always do my best to visit people who comment on my posts, but sometimes all they have are blog tours and some kind of memes I’m not interested in, so I just don’t know what to say. When I comment on a post, it means I’m interested, but, I don’t know, I never really expect people to rush back and comment. But yes, it is nice when you get comments from new people.

    Do I make any sense? I doubt it 😀

  17. The blogosphere DOES revolve around you!

    You see, I can relate to both sides. On the one hand, I definitely get you because all summer I was this commenting machine and I would leave all these awesome meaningful comments on all these blogs and sure, I’d get some people to comment back but a lot of times they would just do what they do and visit others and forget me. I think in a way it was just sort of taken for granted that I would always comment and I could never get myself to remove blogs from my feed so I always did.

    Now I’m on the other side. I’m on the bit where I don’t have TIME! Like, it’s crazy. It’s not like I just have uni, I’m in a whole new freakin’ country so going to get groceries is a huge experience for me. So when I finally get a chance, I just sort of want to do nothing. I’m not saying that because I think you’re directing this at me (oh no! I hope not 😦 Don’t want to ever make you jealous) but because I think I can appreciate more how not everyone can do as much as I did.

    I can’t keep track of who has commented on my blog and if I’ve commented back. Some days I’ll go through a post and visit the blog of every one who commented and leave a comment. But on days I do that, I can’t comment on any other posts that are in my feed because it takes so much time. So other days I’ll go through my feed and just pull out the interesting ones (like this) and not comment back on those who have commented on my blog. Usually, this last one happens more because sometimes it’s just easier to go with whatever catches your eye than feel obligated to do comment. But then I get this huge guilt thing because oh no, has this person been commenting on my blog everyday and I haven’t given them any love?!

    So I’m sort of at the opposite end right now. I don’t feel blogger envy, I feel blogger guilt. I’m doing the best I can, but it’s like even though I get some of these blogs that are my friends (like you), I know I’m passing through so many more that may feel this jealousy just because I haven’t stopped by. 😦 I guess my only way of combating this is by sharing linkage love (which I do in my recap) to acknowledge I’ve seen their post and by replying to all comments on my blog to show my appreciation they stopped by.

    Anyways, this is a whole other blog post now. Whoops, sorry! But it gives me the feeeels…

    • PS. Can I also add that I much rather you be honest and tell me if I ever cause these things than just not say anything? Cause like I think that’s also sometimes the problem. Some people don’t realize they’re not repaying the love. See, I can’t leave this post! I feel so bad ><

  18. I have to admit that I…tend not to the visit-back-and-comment favour. I hope I kind of redeem myself for that because I do click through like, 90% of the comments I receive and check out their blogs, and add a lot to my reader that way. So I guess I do a visit-back-and-follow favour, if it’s a blog I think suits my reading tastes?

    The thing, for me, is that I don’t want to leave meaningless comments. Some blogs focus a lot more on reviews than I do, posting four or five reviews a week, and if it’s for a book I haven’t read then there’s not a whole lot I can say. If it is a book I’ve read, I try to leave a comment every time. As for discussion posts, I try to leave as many comments on those as possible. Sometimes I do overlook some, or I read them and then forget to comment because I get pulled away to do something else in real life. I try not to, but sometimes these things happen.

    I reply to most comments I receive on my blog. I don’t delete the notification from my inbox until I do. Sometimes I do reply quite late, like on my popular discussion posts which require more detailed responses, but I try to reply as quick as I can. The only time I can remember not replying to all my comments is on one of my discussion posts which got loads of comments; I responded to most of them, I think, but I was just so overwhelmed and I felt my blogging was being affected in other areas so I stopped replying after a certain time. Sometimes I feel like I should go back and reply to the comments I neglected?

    I do feel jealousy towards other bloggers who receive lots of comments on their blogs, but I try not to let it overwhelm me. The only thing I can do is try to make the best content I can and treat other bloggers the way I would want to be treated myself.

    Now, the one thing that does annoy me are the cliquey bloggers who claim to want to meet new people and make loads of friends and socialise with everyone, but have this clear circle of BFFs and ignore everyone else. I wouldn’t mind bloggers who don’t respond to their comments at all, so long as they were consistent with it — or like Ashley, who responded to the ones who ask questions or comment with something meaningful — but those bloggers who reply to their friends and forget everyone else’s comments? That’s not cool.

  19. This has always been something that has bothered me when it comes to blogging. When I started my blog I had no idea that I was supposed to comment on blogs rather than just reading a couple of blog posts and moving forward. I learned quickly. However, it took me about a year to finally figure out what direction I wanted to take my blog towards. I did all the things I was supposed to but I hardly ever got people to comment. I had no idea what I was doing wrong. I tweaked my blog, I forgo the use of my blog link after every comment and I rarely ever write something along the lines of ‘great review’ because I’ve honestly come to hate the phrase and it has started to feel empty. Over time, I also stopped visiting blogs that I felt I should but was never really interested in to begin with.

    For some time in between, I tried to forget that I have a blog and that people should be commenting and it was alright. But sometimes there’d be a post that hardly anyone would comment on and those feelings would come up again. And when those feelings come up I just want to flip my desk and forget about commenting. But I do understand. In the summer I was pretty much free after June so I commented as much as I could on whatever blog posts I read. Now it’s October and for a few weeks I’m fully booked with finishing up my thesis. I do visit blogs during my free time (like, right now) and I come to appreciate when others comment on my blog posts. However, if I’m too busy commenting on the blogs in my feed, I fall behind on commenting on the blogs of people who commented on mine. It’s a dilemma for sure.

    All in all, I’m more than grateful of the people who read and comment on my blog posts. That is a given. Once in a while, I do get irritated if someone hardly ever comments on my blog. It really goes both way. Sigh.

  20. Oh my gosh, I totally feel you. In fact, I wrote up a very similar blog post that’s not scheduled to go live for like 3 more weeks. xD So, err… I guess I’m not really the best person to try to be offering advice here. I mean… I think I’ve been on both sides of this situation.

    There are some people who often comment on my blog (and I love them for it), but for some reason I just never seem to find anything interesting to say when I go to their blog to comment back. Usually this happens because their blog content just isn’t what appeals to me. They read and review books that I’m not interested in (like contemporary), or most of their recent content involves books I haven’t read yet, so I either want to avoid spoilers, or I just don’t have anything to say about a book I haven’t read, you know?

    And then sometimes, yeah. I’ll comment on a blog I love, all the time, and they never seem to comment on my stuff. I guess, I can only assume that it’s a similar situation: the stuff I post on my blog just isn’t what interests them.

    Of course, then there’s this whole other thing that might factor in somewhere, somehow, and I have no explanation, but I wrote about it here: Why Can’t We Be Friends?

  21. “especially the half-assed ones where nothing make sense!” LOL. And comment envy is quite common I think. But I’m getting more (meaningful!) comments these days so I think all in all I’m quite fine with how things are now on the commenting front. If I’d get hundreds of comments a day I’d never have the time to reply all and comment back.

    “am I doing something wrong?” NOOOO ” Are my posts just not interesting enough?” YES! Don’t worry too much 🙂

    “tried to reach out to a blogger by leaving comment after comment on their posts, but they never respond.” yep, that happens, Some bloggers are just don’t comment or only comment on x blogs. I actually have a “read only” folder on Bloglovin for those blogs that I read but don’t comment anymore because they never commented back. Maybe because they’re busy, or just not interested in the books I read, who knows. So don’t worry, it doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong. It’s just… how it is…

  22. I get jealous sometimes too – but then I just have to look back at my old posts and see the comments that really made my day (like yours!). When I see all the little conversations that really make my relationships meaningful, I don’t feel as bad about not getting the random little comments. Sometimes, when people don’t respond, I just have to remember that everyone has a life and sometimes we all get busy!

    And I love your posts 🙂 And your comments. Especially your comments! I always take a little longer to reply to you because I want to make sure I can sit down on my computer and type out a solid reply rather than a two sentence blip on my phone while I’m out 🙂

  23. I actually share your sentiment. It really, really hurts my feelings when this happens to me. I just eventually stop commenting on certain blogs bc I know they NEVER EVER comment back to my blog– yet I see them commenting on others blogs! Like you, I feel left out or like I’m not cool enough or something equally lame.
    This is actually my first time on your blog, but I’m gonna follow because I really like this post 🙂 Also, I love comments too!
    I found that avoiding commenting on certain blogs gives me peace of mind.then when certain bloggers do come back and continually comment on my posts I get so happy!!! 😛

  24. Do I ever feel comment jealousy: YES! I love, love, love seeing that orange button pop up that tells me someone has left a comment. It makes me incredibly happy. I reply to every single comment made on my blog, and I can’t see my self ever not doing that. I don’t want people to feel excluded or unwelcome if I reply to one person’s comment but not theirs. I realize that not all bloggers do this, but when I look back at a comment I made and see that only my comment and a few others weren’t responded to, it kind of hurts my feelings or makes me jealous. I just want to know what about my comment wasn’t worth replying to that all the others were. So while I don’t get upset if people don’t have the time/desire to leave me a comment on my blog, I do feel a little hurt when my comment goes unnoticed while the two above and below me didn’t.

    Thankfully there are wonderful bloggers like you who leave such fantastic comments that really make discussion posts worth it!

  25. I totally get comment envy too! I honestly don’t have time between being a mom and working to keep up with all of my blog reading but I totally should because I’m guilty of not following through with commenting on others’ blogs 😦

  26. YOU’RE LOVED, MEG! *tackle-hugs*

    I’ve actually have experienced a commenting jealousy a few times so far. I’ve commented on a few blogs and sometimes they don’t even reply to my comment, much less visit my blog in return. I know it is because they might not have the time or maybe I didn’t say anything interested or maybe my blog doesn’t have content that interest them, but it still hurts a little. It makes me wonder if I’m doing anything wrong 😦

    BUT! I still have a good amount of awesome people who comment on my blog (and they are awesome). So I try hard to appreciate the comments I’m getting 🙂 I’m still only a newbie blog, after all!

    Anyways. I also feel a little guilty sometimes since I forget to comment on some posts and sometimes I just don’t feel like typing O_O But I always try to return the favorite if someone comments on my blog at SOME point so normally I’m just a little late.

    Soooo. I’m going to end this comment by saying this: Your blog is awesome and you are awesome– don’t question it 😀

  27. I TOTALLY FEEL YOU. I am greedy for comments. I love to see that people have actually read the posts. It makes me feel bad for my neglected reviews. (Those poor babies :'() EVERYBODY, WHY U NO COMMENT ON MY BLOG?

    ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT ME? I am soo guilty of forgetting to reply or return the favor when somebody comments. I don’t do it on purpose. I always think “I will get back to them,” but then it slips my mind and when I remember to comment back, it’s a week later and I feel very late in my response. 😛

    (btw, every time I see you leave me those beautiful long comments on my blog, I want to hug you! I haven’t replied back because I keep getting distracted with other things and I feel embarrassed that it’s been a zillion years since you left me those comments. But replying late is better than nothing. :D)

  28. Meg, I am sorry because I can’t help but laugh at this post. Sometimes, I have the same thoughts. Let me get back to you later as I am in a real hurry. I am going to bombard you with a lengthy comment which at this time, I do not have the opportunity to do so. I just can’t help but reply to this immediately. Nyahahha.
    Okay, bye for now, Meg. And keep your cool.

  29. Pingback: Magic In Every Page: The Dream Thieves, Maggie Stiefvater | Adrift on Vulcan

  30. MATE THIS POST IS GOLD. It happens to me ALL THE TIME. I won’t have someone comment on the blog for a while so I’m like, okay, they’re probs too busy. But then their name is on EVERY OTHER BLOG I VISIT and it’s like did I do something wrong? 😦
    But yeah, definitely feel commenting envy for certain blogs because they just have a billion comments and it’s like I want a billion comments too! 😛 I do appreciate the comments that I get though 😀
    Anyway yeah, I don’t actually have anything meaningful to contribute to this discussion, so Nara out.

    • Oh also, I forgot to add, sometimes I’m actually kind of guilty of not commenting on particular blogs at particular times because I won’t read reviews of books that I’m about to review (prevents bias). So if someone is putting out the same reviews as me (which often happens, because people post reviews close to the release date), then it looks like I’ve gone MIA, but it’s just that I’m not reading or commenting on those particular posts. If that makes any sense at all…

  31. I usually just hit “End” on my keyboard to go the bottom of the page and leave a comment. So I don’t really say any other user’s comments, except for the one at the very bottom. So I guess I don’t really see if people who I wish would comment on my blog comments or not on my blog. *glances at comment* Did you get that?

    But I’ve always felt guilty that I couldn’t return every comment on my blog. My biggest focus is my news reader, and the way I can reciprocate when a reader comments is if they’re on my feed. And I’m just the laziest person in the world, and I never think of adding them. I only comment back on the days that I have time to do so. But it doesn’t ease my guilt.

  32. Well let me just say, I did NOT comment on this post because you were ranting about people who didn’t. I love your posts! I honest to goodness believe that you’re one of the more popular bloggers, and I’m really happy that you seem to be doing great on your own after being a co blogger beforehand. I do think that your posts are amazing, and meaningful, and thought provoking, and I also love how you quote my posts when you comment on my blog (because really, it makes me feel like my opinion is genuinely appreciated). I however, think I’m guilty of the no-return-visit, because I comment on blogs from my feed and not from my comments. I APOLOGIZE 😦 And in terms of what I feel about blogging envy, I do believe that I have gotten quite jealous of blogs with more comments, more views, and more follows, especially those who haven’t been around for long, although that is more a thing of the past now that I’m focusing on the things I do have 🙂 But it IS normal to feel like that, so don’t you feel bad about it! But I really, really do love your blog.

  33. Pingback: Warp Drive Sunday: Sept 29 – Oct 5 | Adrift on Vulcan

  34. I understand what you mean…Not getting many comments can be kind of annoying, especially when you see people get LOADS…You can’t help but wonder “What am I doing wrong?” Worse than that though, is when you write a post that you’re SO excited about everyone seeing and you can’t help but think that you might get quite a lot of comments…but then you get none…It feels like such a letdown and like all your hardwork went into nothing… 😦 Anyway, I try not to let it get to me anymore and I’m just so happy about all the comments I do get!

  35. Oh YES! That happens to me all the time. Everything: The envy, people not commenting on my blog posts and people not responding to my comments on their posts. 🙂 I think that’s just how it is. I just stopped wondering about it. It does have a positive side: I’m even more happy, if someone leaves a comment.
    I’m a little jealous of blogs with lots of followers, but if you have a closer look, these blogs often don’t offer much content. They are an infinite list of memes, blog tours and giveaways. That’s not what I want my blog to be. So I rather have a small blog that offers good content on a weekly basis 🙂
    As I just found your blog and only had a quick look around, I can only speak of my first impression, but what I saw looked pretty awesome. I really enjoy your love for details like your “Welcome” section! I’m looking forward to your posts.

  36. Pingback: Book Bloggery Week-in-Review (28)

  37. I really love this post, you’ve voiced exactly how I can feel in regards to comments, but you’ve been braver and actually written about it.

    It seems really silly to want comments, but for me it feels like school, where I just want someone to be my friend and chat to me – I want the conversation. Which at the same time makes me feel guilty, because no one should be obliged to comment on what I write and if they aren’t, what do I need to change to make what I write more engaging. I can see how bigger blogs must find it difficult to reciprocate the amount of comments they receive, that must be a mammoth task.

    But yeah, I’m right there with you and my only advice is to try and think of it from the other side (which I admit is not easy) I try and think about how easy I would find commenting if I were super busy.

    However, I don’t think you have mean comment envy or anything, so you’re okay, you’re just a little exasperated and I get that 🙂

  38. I totally understand the jealousy over comments. My blog is not new, and I still get very few comments. I know that part of the problem is that I’m not as connected to the blogosphere as I used to be. I don’t comment as much on other people’s blogs because I don’t get to read a lot of other book blogs. I’m rarely on twitter, having gotten addicted to Instagram instead. I feel quite disconnected some times, and even though I know people are reading my posts because I see the numbers, I still wish for comments. I don’t think it’s an invalid concern. Especially if you’re actually putting in the work to try to get them.

  39. Comments are a huge part of the community for me… just as important (or even more) than the posts themselves. I sometimes feel those pangs of envy that you mention, but then I try to remind myself that I don’t necessarily comment on every post I read, or even every post I like… I try as much as I can, but I don’t always have the time or the focus, and I know others are the same.

    As for commenting on other blogs and not getting a response back… that doesn’t necessarily sting, but it just means I’m probably not going to go back to that blog. I’m here to make connections. Honestly I’d rather see a blogger responding to some comments, even if mine are usually skipped over, than not responding to any. Huge blogs are an exception, obviously… but when posts only get a few comments and the blogger still can’t be bothered or doesn’t think it’s important to continue the conversation? That baffles me.

  40. Meg, please do not chastise me for this uber late reply. But I’m a woman of my words so I have to fulfill my promise no matter what. Hahaha!

    I never thought that you’d feel this way because if I am to compare myself with you, you’re the popular blogger and I am the lowly one. Hahaha. And look at all those comments, I am drowning from them. I should be the one feeling envious here. xD But in all honesty, I am more jealous of book hauls and ARCs, Meg. Hahaha.

    I understand where you’re coming from though. I was like that during my 3rd or 4th month of blogging. I always feel annoyed when I go to other blogs and I just exhausted my brain powers trying to come up with a very meaningful comment and get nothing in return. I mean what the hell is wrong with this people? Does my English sucked so bad that they couldn’t stand reading it? Am I being racist with my posts? Was I condescending? It was total paranoia for me. And there’s a time when I almost quit on blogging because I thought that I am posting nonsensical things. But when I participated in that Summer Lovin Readathon and people started leaving comments on my blog, I realized that bloggers are divided into a lot of groups based on their commenting performance. Some do not give a damn at all, some would comment copy pasted comments just to gain pageviews and things like that and some were really sincere and took the time to read your very lengthy posts. And I kind of accepted that that’s life and the only thing I can do about it is to treasure those bloggers belonging to the last group. And you’re one of them, Meg. That’s why I keep visiting your blog and comment on 3-5 day old posts even if I am busy.

    As for those half assed commenters, I visit them though to return the favor. But they’re the ones who I easily forget and not to be remembered until we meet again during memes or book blogging events. I’m still thankful that they took the time to visit my blog. Hahaha. And with regards to those who do not comment at all, I guess I will just have to let them be. More or less I’d forget about them unless they really have a lot of interesting posts which will keep me visiting their blogs on a regular basis. I do give a lot of consideration to those big bloggers because it could be really cumbersome to reply to all those comments. As a matter of fact, I wouldn’t mind if you don’t visit me, Meg. You are a big blogger. Remember that. 😀

    Moving on, I can assure you that I like your posts. That I read them even if I’m not leaving any comments. And please know that I have a pretty weird schedule when it comes to blogging and visiting blogs. I usually schedule it during weekends so whenever I visit my favorite blogs, I spend hours reading all their posts from Mondays to Saturdays. So don’t be shocked when I comment on all your posts on the same day with 15 mins-1 hour interval. Am I even making sense?

    And don’t worry, Meg. I always return the favor when someone comments on my blog. It might take me long (even a month) but I will always find to time to visit them back.

    And once again, sorry for this another competitive comment. Don’t mind the typos.

  41. Such an honest post Megan, I know exactly what you mean. I don’t really get ARC envy, I have more than enough books to read but I get comment envy all the time. I love comments, I love when people reach out and make an effort to connect with what I wrote so if a post doesn’t get much love I’m immediately wondering what I did wrong.
    And the sane part of me knows it probably nothing! We all are so busy that there is only a certain number of blogs you can reach in any one week.
    I always try to comment back when someone comments but then I don’t only want people coming to me because I commented on their post. I want them to come because they like my blog. It’s like the chicken and egg, which came first!
    Anyway this post has a huge number of replies so there is your proof, you are doing nothing wrong so keep on doing what you are doing 🙂

  42. Pingback: Bookish Recap: September 29th – October 5th | A Bookish Heart

  43. Pingback: October Wrap Up | Lose Time ReadingLose Time Reading

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